Do you even, group date?

Traditionally, dating is a one-to-one affair. In middle school, you may need a chaperone or back in Sicily (aka the old country), your whole family accompanied you out on a date. Even in modern times, with online / mobile / internet dating where you can meet thousands of men and women in one evening sitting on, the end result is still to meet up by yourself in person.

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Group dating is loosely defined as a modern pattern for dating where there are more than 2 people organise a night out together, with the hope of forming romantic partnerships. Apparently, it is most popular in Japan, where it is known as gōkon. So, are the Japanese once again onto something great or is it an acquired taste for eccentric people?

 

Pro: More fishes in the sea

On a regular date, you only have one person to interact with. More often than not, it ends in disappointment – either he is too quiet or she is too ditzy or etc. In a group date, both parties bring a friend or friends and now there are more choices to have.

group-date

Con: Conflict of interests

You and your buddies may end up vying for attention from the same person. Even the strongest friendships may not withstand this type of competition. This is probably best described and solved with the Equilibrium Game Theory.

 

Pro: Safety in numbers

There is nowhere to hide in one-on-one situations – when there is nothing to say, the silence is rather awkward. In groups, there will always be a quiet few while more vocal ones will keep the interactions going. Also, if the date is going south, you and your friends will have no problem just walking out together.

safety-in-numbers

Con: Little to lose but little to gain

If the group is too big, there will be very limited interaction with the person you really came out to see. It will not be clear if there was a connection at all with anyone. The best that you can gleam is whether your target is sociable in a group setting.

 

Pro: Sharing is caring

All venues love big groups who spend more money, order more food plus make the place look lively while they meet and drink. There are group discounts, sharing platters, jugs of beverages and more to be shared. Also, splitting the bill with more people means enjoying more variety at a cut price.

shared plate picture

 

Con: Subdued personalities

It is often said that on dates, you are meeting your date’s representative. We tend to put our best foot forward and hide our truer / uglier selves. This gets multiplied even more when trying to win the approval of many potential candi-dates.

 

Group dating has pros and cons – as do everything else. If you do want to give it a shot, here’s how to make the best of it.

 

  1. Choose a suitable date venue – pick an interesting bar/cafe/restaurant that is conducive to conversations with intriguing activities for the group.

 

  1. Make eye contact – with the one you like, try to catch a glimpse into the windows of his/her soul.

 

  1. Focus on your target – don’t be rude in ignoring everyone but put in more effort to listen to him/her speak or laugh at their jokes.

 

  1. Share private time – after making some connection, sometime in the night, try to separate him/her from the pack to have one-on-one time i.e. ask for accompaniment to get drinks from the bar.

 

  1. Give up when pointless – sometimes, nothing works. Everyone is quiet and/or boring so the evening is going nowhere. It is just the nature of dating, its a toss up. You can always call it a night and walk away.

 

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What happens once the honeymoon phase is over?

As a matchmaker, I hear Natacha_Couchabout your desire to meet the love of your life and about your dreams of living the life you want to live with that exceptional person you want to share special moments with.  At MeetDrinks we are passionate about helping people find love and we realize that we are a short cut to finding your Absolute Match. Life is short, so why wait any longer.

I’m quite confident that in a past or even current relationship your instincts have told you that you were not with the right person but fought it. You fought it with activities and projects that brought you closer together. Or so you thought.  For example, traveling to Europe and enjoying fine dining, love making and creating memories, joining a salsa class and discovering a new level of passion, moving in together to avoid unnecessary traveling and even saving money to buy a dream house? Some people even figure that walking down the isle is the unequivocal solution to their rocky relationship.

You were born intuitive so why not listen to yourself in decision making especially when it comes to your relationships be it with friends or a significant other.

So the questions is: how do you know who is right for you? Who has not heard about the honeymoon phase, the exhilarating phase of discovery and passion? But what happens after, when a person’s true colors starts to show?

You may think that you are above that entire phase, that you are who you say you are. You may have told a man: What you see is what you get and that you don’t pretend to be someone else to impress. Well, most of us don’t try to create a world around ourselves that we cannot sustain but sometimes we can’t help ourselves to do a little more and dress a little better and clean a little more often because we feel inspired to do so, because the person we met is so wonderful that we want to be the best that we can be. Other times, it’s the other person who creates the illusion for us and get this, it’s normal. The honeymoon phase isn’t only about how two people present each other. It is also about what you may perceive about your man and how he may perceive you. The brain plays tricks on you and is very quick to fill in gaps: Oh, I thought he was generous. I thought he was a family person. I thought he was a good communicator, I would have never guessed he had an addiction or that he was controlling or even frugal with his money. Those revelations don’t appear on day one.

What does it mean exactly to find out about your partner’s peculiarities and habits and why do we feel as though they were hidden from us and how can we avoid disappointments?

Some of the famous idiosyncrasies that you may come face to face with include: The toilet seat that is never put back up, the smelly socks that don’t make it to the hamper, the wet floor after the shower, the bed that never gets made, the dishes that don’t get washed and the list goes on. You most likely bring a set of your own quirks and bad habits that he will have to deal with as well. It is very important to understand how men and women present themselves at the beginning of a relationship and that the passion or infatuation are normal and will not last forever.

Once the sparks fade, it’s time for the man and woman to decide if they share similar beliefs, values, goals and interests and if they want to bring the commitment they have for one another to the next level. The infatuation is replaced by solid profound feelings and don’t worry, many sparks come along with those as well.

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